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Johnny and I were on the couch, and Kevin and Bryan were sitting in front of it, engrossed in whatever video game they had switched to. I wasn’t sure how, but Johnny and I had ended up spooning on the couch, with his hands drifting into dangerous areas. I was wasted by that point, but in the back of my mind I could hear a voice screaming to know what the hell I thought I was doing. I knew it was going nowhere good. I had realized a good six months back that I had feelings for Bryan, though I had decided that it was better left untouched. No matter how well the group had worked with Zack and I as a couple, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t ever happen like that again, and besides, I had seen the girls Bryan was always with, and I was nothing like them. So being in that situation with Johnny, I knew it was bad. Not only was he the wrong guy, but it was just a really shitty idea from him and I to sleep together. Just as I reached this decision, I felt his hand begin to slide up the back of. Christina would be deep asleep by then. Now it was just a matter of killing time. And boredom. And my headache. And the thought of Christina. My laptop was still on the other sofa. It took an unusually hefty amount of energy to transfer myself from one couch to the other. I opened it up and simply stared at my desktop wallpaper while I tried to sift through all the thoughts in my mind. Foremost was Christina. Now I knew why she was late, not only today, but more than likely every damn afternoon. The thought burned itself through my mind, though all my heart felt was numbness. No, that’s too… cliché. It felt more like a pinhole in the center of my heart, through which everything I had ever felt about Christina was slowly, painfully draining. It was the rest of me that felt numb. It was jealousy. Was it? Here she was, sucking off some random guy, when she won’t even give me the courtesy of a normal conversation. But did I really care that it wasn’t me in the passenger’s seat this.
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